| **the world turns for love...it kneels before it...** |
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| 09:57am 18/08/2004 |
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mood:  calm music: Burn-Usher
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I May Never Be Enough
8/18/04
Chorus:
I know that look in you eyes
And the eyes
They never lie
The truth stings deeply
You’re not over her
Please
Just tell me why…
I love you so much it hurts
I’d do anything for you
And you say you love me too
But when she comes around
It makes me question if you do
Cause your eyes glaze over
Even when we’re holding each other
Your arms get rigid as you think of her
And there’s no breaking through
Even though I’d do anything for you
Chorus
Yes, what she did was wrong
But now those times are gone
Now we’re together
This is where we belong
But baby,
When she’s here,
I wonder if I’m enough
Or if I’m really the one you love
And as much as I struggle to rise above
Her memory’s still there
And it scares me to think
I may never be enough
Chorus
I love you so much…
What can I do?
I’d do anything for you…
Chorus
And it scares me to think…
I may never be enough…. |
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| 09:20am 16/08/2004 |
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mood: calm
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i love the boy...i really truly love the boy...and the best part is...he loves me back...:) |
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| 08:05pm 15/08/2004 |
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so yea i havent updated in more than like a month...i just havent really sat down and done it and i still really don't have time but i must say that this is officially the best line ive ever heard in a movie...
"the world turns for love...it kneels before it..."
am i weird? cuz i think that line is absolutely beautiful...i mean beautiful... |
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| 12:09am 07/07/2004 |
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You're Gothic.
Alone, cold, and distant, you're typically the
social outcast. You often find yourself in a
crowd full of people, while being the lonliest
person in the world, wanting something more
from life. Besides that, you're a damn
creative person, and you're always drowning in
your next "project." You're life may
seem dark and gloomy, with out much detail, but
in reality, it is quite the opposite. You
choose to keep your life rich by burying you
head in books that require thinking, and
writing people that confuses the common folk.
The world is a cold place--And you understand
that to the fullest.
Punk or Gothic?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| 12:00am 07/07/2004 |
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You're the color blue. You have the three c's in
life--you're cool, caring and confident.
Trustworthy and honest, people are naturally
attracted to you. You're unusually optimistic,
but that makes life all the better. You're an
imaginative person who loves sleeping and
dreaming. Hard-working and determined, you
excell in school. You're everybody's favorite,
and this is because you have this undefined
richness in your personality and attitude.
Mild-tempered and stable. Not to mention very
intelligent. Along with the fact that you're
conservative, you're worried about the
environment. So basically, you're a generous,
dependable and devoted--just the kind of person
everybody needs. Wouldn't it be great if
everybody in the world were like you?
What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| ****************************************************** |
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| 12:30pm 04/07/2004 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Switchfoot-Meant to Live
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i don't like who i've become...i think it's time to cut myself off from certain people and certain things...surround myself with my family and the friends that have always led me down the path of righteousness...even if it means that i have nothing to do and sit at home all summer...so be it...i'd rather be at home with my bible and good motivations and good intentions than "having fun" with people that do things that i eventually give in to and end up ruining my example...that's what i've been doing...ruining my christian example...if that's not what people see when they look at me, what do they see??...without god there's nothing to see...nothing worth seeing...nothing i want people to see...so that's what im gonna do...and all my fellow christians out there...i beg u to keep me in your prayers...and as selfish as this is...i beg u to help me stay strong...help me to make sure that i stay surrounded by good,pure people in good environments...help me to get back to where i used to be...
dear jesus,
please help me father. help me to stay strong. help me to accept the help that i know you will provide through my friends and family. i don't know who will come through but i know that you already have people lined up waiting to help me. i know it's all in your plan. and help me be open to the possibility that the help may come from some of the people that i overlooked and never really considered my "best" friends. help me father. help me to strive after your will.
in your precious name.
amen. |
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| *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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| 03:32pm 01/07/2004 |
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mood:  crushed music: Don't Tell Me-Avril Lavigne
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somehow i'll miss you more than you'll ever know
"you wiped my tears,got rid of all my fears,why did you have to go?"
something inside me can't forget you
so instead i do things i said i'd never do
and as much as i tell myself to turn them down
the pictures still stare at me
resonating with a bittersweet sound
everywhere i turn are images of me and you
places,faces,all the things we used to do
you said i was the greatest girl you ever knew
midnight conversations and our first "i love you's"
now you're gone without so much as goodbye
and as much as i miss you
you're too far away
so you'll never know how i've cried |
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| 01:27pm 15/06/2004 |
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mood: discontent
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i want something new...something interesting...something totally different than what i've had before...i want a friendship first...followed by pure,innocent love...i want someone to love me for who i am...i just love jesus and want to be a good person and have a good time in life...i mean what's so hard to like about that?? shouldnt that be what guys want?? i don't know...maybe i'm just totally off base or something... and yea i have guys that like me,but they aren't christian or i'm just not attracted to them...God...what's my story? |
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| 10:48am 12/06/2004 |
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mood: crushed music: *silence*
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can't see and can't think
cuz love's an intoxicating drink...
you're gone. so why are you still in my dreams? this has never happened before. usually they leave and it hurts, but no dreams. now there are dreams. why? it just makes it harder. cuz i dream and it feels so real. then i wake up to remember it's not. i wake up to a slap in the face every morning. every morning! not only are there dreams, there are dreams every night! i wish i could make them go away. but then again i don't cuz that's the only time i get to see you. to hear your voice. that's right. i hear your voice at night and it sounds so real. do you, can you, will you ever understand how i feel? will you ever care? will i ever hear your voice again? will i ever hear it for real? |
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| *it only hurts when i'm breathing* |
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| 12:19pm 08/06/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing-Shania Twain
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" it only hurts when i'm breathing
my heart only breaks when it's beating
my dreams only die when i'm dreaming
so i hold my breath
to forget "
i just want a good one...just one good one...instead of one that deceives for three months and then reveals that fact that he is a jerk and has no compassion for others' feelings...the fact that he is selfish...the fact that he could care less when he makes you cry...the fact that he flat out insults you and expects you to just gravel at his feet the next minute...the fact that he says one thing and does another...the fact that he says i love you and i'll miss you and then proceeds to never call you again...
...and yet...i still find myself crying over him...why?! why do i care?
*dear jesus,
help me not to care. you know the situation. please make everything turn out alright. i know i'm probably asking you more than i should right now and i know i've been crying to you for the past week non-stop but i also know that you don't mind. i know that you love me beyond compare and you would like nothing better than to sit and listen to me cry in your arms all day long. and i thank you for that understanding. please help...this hurts...
in Jesus name
amen* |
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| 11:46am 07/06/2004 |
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mood:  distressed
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jesus,
i know that i am so selfish, but God, please please please please can i have this? i beg u dear Father, i beg u desperately. forgive me.
in Jesus name i pray.
amen. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 10:55pm 06/06/2004 |
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mood: hurt music: *switchfoot*
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dear jesus,
this really hurts right now...can you please make it go away?? i know u see my tears...do u mind if i just stay here in your presence for awhile? i just want to stay in this silence and huddle close to you...i need to feel loved...this hurts so bad...and i wish i didnt care...but i do care...i wish i could make myself forget everything...but everytime i try...it eventually comes back and i find myself crying again...caring again...god, why does this have to hurt so bad? i dont understand...and as hurt as i am i still care and i still pray...cuz i can't just let go...help me...show me how to move on...will u please take my hand and lead me away to somewhere comforting and loving? somewhere that im surrounded by security and unconditional love...i wish things would work out...but i have a feeling they wont...how am i supposed to feel? i dont understand...please help me god. i feel infantile and helpless...please wont u take me in your arms and let me snuggle up to you? please...?? |
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| 10:16pm 03/06/2004 |
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mood: crushed music: Burn-Usher
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i feel this relentless desire to be busy at all times...to be around as many people as possible...to meet as many new people as possible...to meet people i would never normally meet...make life long friends...get my mind off what its on...pretend things don't matter to me anymore..."im twisted, cuz one side of me's tellin me that i need to move on...on the other side i wanna break down and cry"...took the words right outta my mouth... |
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| *mallow mar's hair is SUPER SHORT* |
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| 12:37am 03/06/2004 |
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mood:  content music: 8th World Wonder
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so yea today was awesome...got some much needed girl time...i mean i love chris to death but two weeks straight of just him and dan and other military guys whew i was in desperate need of time with my girls...so me and erin went to WH for breakfast and then went to TJ Max,Target, and then we decided that man we both really wanted to get our hair cut...like today now lol....so we headed to Wally World to look through some magazines...marveously we both found somethin! so then we were off to get our hair cut! mine is SUPER SHORT i mean wow no joke lol but i really like it. nice change. and erin whoa! everyone knows how long he hair was! she got like 8 inches cut off! she looks like Kelly Kapowski from Saved By the Bell the College Years! hehe its hot!!
so then i took her home and i met up with my friends from church at the bowling alley. we bowled (i did really good the second game whoo hoo! i got like two strikes! hey thats good for me alright lol) then we all headed to a college bible study (hehe yes i was so excited cuz i was like dude im so allowed to go now lol!) and me and sarah stopped and got ice cream on the way. ah good stuff hehe! the bible study was awesome and it was so refreshing. much needed. then we all played cards afterwards! nice! then seein as how it was almost midnight we headed hone cuz mal mal still has a curfew lol oh well thatll change soon hehe! jsu here i come baby! ahhh! cant wait!!
so yes great day! and tomorrow is gonna be awesome too! i can feel it! i love you everyone!!
GOD IS SO GOOD! *Father, thank you for the refreshment of your word tonight. It was much needed and you knew that. For the first time in awhile i feel comforted with your love and normal again. I've felt out of sync for awhile and tonight was blissful just feeling your presence and being around my fellow believers...the ones that have seen me and helped me grow since i took my first step towards you...but Lord, i beg you to forgive me of my sins and i pray that you will help them to overlook my wrongs out of brotherly love. Help me to stand for you once again as i did what now seems so long ago. Help me to be restored in you. And Lord, you know my heart, so please help me in the areas i need help in...including those that i can't see on my own. I love you and i thank you for loving me.For it is in your precious name I pray. Amen* |
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| this is funny hehe... |
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| 01:57pm 26/05/2004 |
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♥Malorie Edger and ♥Chris Dusci | - Plan to adopt less than zero expensive kids.
- Intend to lovingly serenade each other when permitted.
- Together forever whatever the weather.
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| love's an intoxicating drink... |
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| 12:52pm 25/05/2004 |
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mood: confused music: Goo Goo Dolls-Iris
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emotions running high
caught inside my mind
one day the sun will shine
the next i question who am i?
can't see and can't think
love's an intoxicating drink
brings you high and lets you fall
i think now's the time to stall
are their accusations lies?
should i smile and close my eyes?
or are they real?
they've made me afraid to feel |
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| IM IN VIRGINIA!! |
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| 02:29pm 24/05/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful music: YellowCard-Ocean Ave
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ok yea so its been a while since ive had time to update! i left thursday at 1 and got to norfolk at 6! it was sooo good to see chris! ahh still is! lol he took me to meet his family this weekend! that was awesome too! we cooked out, had a poker night, went to his little brothers soccer games (3 of them lol in 100 degree weather whew!) and then we cooked out that night for his grandfathers bday! so it was really cool. i learned alot about chris just by being there and that was really cool. we got along really well and on the way back he said they had nothing but good things to say about me and they loved me so i was like yes, relief lol. and yea alot has happened but its all like me and chris me and chris so im not gonna bore u guys with all that junk that no one cares about lol. and now im just chillin cuz chris is at work. but luckily his roommates girlfriend is gonna hang with me this week and we are gonna go to the beach she just had to work today. so itll be cool. AND! i was supposed to fly back this sunday but chris asked me to stay a few extra days!! i was like really? u really want me to? and he was like uh yea of course i do! so we are gonna look into me flyin back on wed or thurs instead! i was like wow! hehe but anyways i really need to go so i will talk to everyone later! i hope everyone is havin a good week! i love you all!
**linlee good luck at graduation!! i wish i could be there! u're speech is gonna be awesome! luv u girl!
~mal mal |
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| 10:28am 13/05/2004 |
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mood: anxious music: Ocean Avenue-YellowCard
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so this is me huh? guess so lol! well lets just hope i've swept chris off his feet...even though shouldn't it be the other way around lol? arent guys supposed to sweep the girls off their feet? i mean can a girl sweep a guy off his feet lol?? |
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mallow_mar's journal
ianiceboy